If you want to get over the person with whom you are still in love but are no longer with, you have a long but potentially hopeful road ahead of you. The answers are never easy. No matter how much part of you wants to move on with your life, you will still have to face the breakup head-on, day-by-day.
This can be a slow process. You may think you are getting over him or her, and then, wham, a year or two later something reminds you of them and all of the pain comes flooding back into your mind and heart.
Here are some tips on how to deal with breakups:
If your now-over relationship was a long one, this is something that can possibly continue to keep you feeling sad for years – or maybe the rest of your life. Of course, that does not mean that your sadness needs to paralyze you or keep you in a state of constant depression forever. By working hard to get over the person, you can face the fact that losing them made you sad. By acknowledging the pain for what it is – a sad loss – you can go through the natural mourning process.
If your breakup is fairly fresh, the only way to deal with the pain is just to face it directly and ride it out. Yes, it is going to hurt. But, not facing the pain can hurt you even more.
Once you have started moving through the pain, do everything you can to change your environment so that you are not constantly reminded of him or her. For example, you can remove visual reminders of him or her, such as photographs and gifts from them. You should even consider avoiding the places the two of you used to visit together.
In the case that you really find you are having a problem living your life after your breakup, it may be necessary to go counseling. You need to explain to your counselor or therapist that you have just been through a painful breakup. Ask your counselor how to get over your ex. They will offer helpful advice on how to cope with the pain. And, they will be able to customize a solution for getting over the pain to your own situation and personality.
Your friends or family members may seem to act as if they know what you are going through. But, beware, some of them may have ulterior motives: they may have secretly not been supportive of your relationship with your ex, so they may want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship that you would not share with family or friends.
Whether you choose to deal with the pain on your own or to go through counseling, promise yourself that you will do what it takes to face the pain and get through it so that you can move on in your life.
You may have an excellent shot at getting your ex back in your arms again. Check out this advice from relationship experts who have helped thousands of other married couples rekindle their love at: www.in-your-arms-again.com.